Health Information



Belonging, Learning, and Contributing Checklist

Developing a sense of belonging, learning, and contributing can help your child develop healthy self-esteem. Use this brief checklist as a daily reminder for yourself.


Every day, I will show my child that he or she belongs.

  • I let my child know (in at least two ways) that I love him or her.
  • I looked at the list of my child's good qualities that is posted on my refrigerator. I added one or more qualities, if needed.
  • I praised my child at least two times as often (or more) as I made negative comments.
  • I listened to my child's concerns and problems and identified his or her feelings, if needed.
  • We had family time today or we have family time planned for this week.

At least once a week, I will have my child involved in structured activities with his or her peers.


At least once a week, I will create a learning opportunity for my child.

  • My child had at least one fun learning experience this week.
  • I let my child try the learning experience without taking over for him or her.
  • It was a complex task, so we broke it down into small steps.
  • I praised my child for his or her efforts.
  • We planned a time to practice the new skill again, if needed.


Every day, I will let my child know that he or she is contributing in some way.

  • We posted our list of family rules(What is a PDF document?) in a spot that helps remind all of us.
  • I showed respect for my child in one way today.
  • My child has a list of chores that he or she is responsible for. My child understands how to do those chores and the consequences of not doing them.
  • We scheduled a regular family meeting (if your family members have agreed to have meetings).
  • I made one statement or did one thing to show my child that he or she is part of our family.
  • I held my child accountable for his or her choices, behavior, and responsibilities. I enforced the natural or logical consequences, when needed.
  • I told my child at least once today that I appreciated something cooperative that he or she had done.
By Healthwise Staff
Primary Medical Reviewer Susan C. Kim, MD - Pediatrics
Specialist Medical Reviewer Louis Pellegrino, MD - Developmental Pediatrics
Last Revised April 6, 2012

This information does not replace the advice of a doctor. Healthwise, Incorporated disclaims any warranty or liability for your use of this information. Your use of this information means that you agree to the Terms of Use. How this information was developed to help you make better health decisions.

© 1995-2013 Healthwise, Incorporated. Healthwise, Healthwise for every health decision, and the Healthwise logo are trademarks of Healthwise, Incorporated.